Creative Drought

I want to start by saying I have in fact been doing many creative things over the past year and however long it’s been since I last wrote in this blog. I started producing burlesque shows in Denver, then the pandemic happened. I started baking and cooking a lot, I worked on some play scripts, I started writing poetry, and tried my hand at painting. So the drought I speak of isn’t to say that I haven’t stimulated myself artistically in the past year. I’ve tried many new things and pushed myself a lot, and I’m very proud of all the things I’ve created.

But it has been tough. In attempting to be creative, I’ve found myself often wondering why it matters. Why my art means anything at all in a world constantly shifting and crumbling. Particularly, I wonder if I’m wasting my time on my many different creative pursuits, when I should be focusing and honing a mere few. Would my time spent painting or writing poetry be better used writing plays or working on choreography? Is my piano playing a more practical ambition than perfecting my recipe for banana flambé french toast? Who’s to say?

The answer is simple enough, though it comes with an unfortunate footnote which all creative endeavors are shackled to. Anything which makes you happy and lights up your brain is worth spending time on. The problem, annoyingly, is always financial. It’s usually the remark creatives get when they first tell people of their pursuits. “But how are you going to make money?” The financial detriment can easily halt creatives in their tracks, which is unfortunate, because other interests rarely get treated this way. Attached to the monetary concerns is usually a question of skill: “Are you any good?” True, many people work very hard on their creative skills, but they may also do it simply because they enjoy it. If someone likes walking, it would be odd to inquire if they were good at it or how they were planning on profiting from it. Though, yes, money is an unfortunate necessity in this world, it is not the only thing with value.

I’m not sure if my philosophizing is helpful or just white noise, but I suppose it helps me create a bit of calm in my very busy brain. I like to do many different things. I’ve also been very sad and tired for the past year, and it takes much more energy to do the things that I love. But I still love them and I want to continue making things and sharing them with others. Though I’d love to earn fame and fortune for all of the creative nonsense I get up to, recognition is only a small fraction of the value creative work has as a whole. I know my work is worthwhile, even if I’m the only person in the world who enjoys it.